By DARREN HANDSCHUH
Have you ever done something that seemed like a good idea at the time and then turned out to be a less-than-stellar plan?
Dumb question, I know.
Everyone, at some point in time, has done some bonehead move that in retrospect seemed too stupid to be plausible.
Look at 89 per cent of the decisions made by our national politicians – boneheads to the core.
I have noticed most cranial cramping occurs when the maker of the decision is of the younger set. Especially those in their teens and even into their early 20s, brain power and common sense is often out weighed by a sense of, “C'mon, what could go wrong?”
What could go wrong? You could nearly set half the country on fire that's what.
Now before people start getting their knickers in a knot, we did not intentionally set the mountain on fire, it was just a miscue by some fireworks we had in our possession.
A buddy had a rocket-type firework that shot eight brightly coloured balls of fire high into the sky.
He had been hanging on to it for months and that warm August night seemed like the perfect time to send the pretty lights skyward.
We picked a spot on top of a small mountain and tied the festive pyrotechnics to a dead stump and stood back.
Before I continue, I would just like to say we were young and the possibility of something going wrong did flutter through our little brains, but was quickly pushed out by the desire to have some fun.
I looked at my buddy and for a brief moment was gripped with a dash of practical sense.
“Uh, dude, what if one of the flaming balls hits the ground.”“Don't worry about it. It will shoot 100 feet into the air. See, it says so right on the package.”
“Duuuh,OK, I can't argue with that.”
A match was lit and placed at the fuse of the rocket. It sparked as it burned as if to announce festive fun was on the way.
We watched the fuse sparkle as it entered the rocket and that's when things went a tad wrong. No, one of the fiery balls of colour did not ignite the tinder dry brush around us – we should have been so lucky.
When the fuse ignited the rocket it did not send eight colourful balls of flame skyward, instead it just exploded where it sat, sending eight colourful balls of flame in eight different directions.
If we had a brain between us we would have had some water handy – if we had a brain. We did have bottled liquid, but it was not water.
After a fraction of a second of total and complete utter panic we took action and ran around like mad men stomping out the little colourful balls of flame.
It took a few minutes, but we got the flames out, all the while I was reminding my friend about my cautionary tale with a colourful use of verbs and nouns. We spent quite a while making sure every single ember was stomped into oblivion.
We then sat back, had a good laugh and vowed to never do something so stupid again – until the next time we were struck by a bright idea that is.