By DARREN HANDSCHUH
My dog registered his first official kill the other day.
I know he did the deed because I watched him do it. The assault was over before I could even react.
It was quite impressive actually, kind of like watching the nature channel live. He spotted his target and immediately launched a relentless, spirited attack.
With the speed of a cheetah and the power of a lion, Murphy the Wonder Dog pounced.
It took a a few twists of his body and a couple of snaps with his lethal jaws before he sunk his fangs into his prey, resulting in its death. I must admit, I felt some pride in his killing prowess and now there is one less moth in the world thanks to a 15-pound hound with a wolf complex.
It was a big moth too. Not one of those wimpy little white ones, but a fierce grayish coloured one that are known to frighten small children. I even read on the Internet they have been known to carry weapons and if it was on the Net, then it must be true. Actually I think it was a Far Side cartoon, but still Murphy did not show a trace of fear, only the steel determination of a true killer.
And after he caught the flying insect he did eat it, which I would just like to say is disgusting and is proof dogs will each just about anything.
It took a while to get it down as it was roughly the size of a pigeon. Well, maybe it was not that big, but he still took a few seconds to eat his meal to go. Perhaps he was savouring the flavour or just basking in the glow of a successful kill, who knows.
Never in my life have I looked at a moth and thought, “Hmmm, that looks like a tasty treat.”
Although there are many cultures where people eat bugs. If I was in one of those places I would be known as the skinny dead guy because I would likely starve to death.
But the kill just goes to show you can take the dog out of the forest, but you can't take the wolf out of the dog. Or, dogs are weird, whatever one works best for you.
My son's cat is a true hunter. I know this because we often find the remains of his kills scattered about the yard.
Murphy thinks this is great, which bring me to the question of why do dogs enjoy stinky stuff? Not only do they want to smell it, they want to smell like it.
Murphy found a small pile of what I believe were bird remains in the backyard one day and the only reason I spotted it was because he was rolling in it.
Whenever you see your dog drop their shoulder and roll around with a goofy grin on their face, you know they are up to nothing good, at least not good for the nostrils.
Murphy was flopping around having a grand ol' time and was quite put out when I disposed of the remains.
I guess for dogs, eau de bird guts is a fragrance delight.
Mind you, I have come across some humans who did not smell a whole lot better themselves, and I assume, or I hope anyway, they were not rolling in anything.
These are the folk who take a bath once a year whether they need it or not. Trust me, you need it and you better do it soon because there is a whole lineup of dogs just waiting to roll on you.