Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Shirt shopping seriously sucks

It was supposed to be a simple task.
Run to the local store, buy a couple of new shirts for work, come home, put one on, go to work.
How simple is that?
Not that simple actually.
I quickly learned the world is not geared to someone of my physical stature.
The problem is I am an XXL human living in a M world.
At 6'4” and almost 260 pounds I am pretty far from average size and it would seem the world is only interested in providing attire for those of regular frame and girth.
I am neither.
My quest began a few weeks ago and led me to just about every store on the city that sells men's clothing.
I went to one clothing store that had roughly 27 million medium-sized shirts and one – yes, only one – shirt that would fit me.
I am not really a lime-green-with-yellow-flowers kind of guy so I did not even get that one.
I can see why it was in the discount section and probably will be for many months to come.
The story was played out time and again as I went to store after store in my noble quest to look good on the job.
I did find three shirts that would fit me at a high-end store, but I would chew tinfoil before I would pay $90 for a single shirt. Sure it was a nice shirt, but it was not that nice.
I have spent less than that on a shirt, pants, socks and dinner after shopping.
Having failed finding what I need locally, I went online to see what I could find and did not meet with much better results.
There were some shirts in my size, but they all were in a style called 'slim fit.'
OK, let's review: if I am looking for an XXL shirt, odds are I am not slim.
It was explained to me the slim fit look was for people with broad shoulders and narrow waist who want to show off their physique.
How many people out there match that description? Probably a lot less than would match how I look.
I have broad shoulders, but my waist is far from narrow. I am not exactly a big tub of goo, but I am not svelte like I was back in the younger days either, so a slim fit amounts to me looking like a sausage rolled into a piece of cloth.
Not the look I was hoping for.
There were a few in the 'classic fit' (see out of shape fit) but it appears many clothing chains think large people have no sense of fashion because those were some of the ugliest shirts I have ever seen.
I guess the obvious solution is to lose weight – which I have been doing, but I am sure most people will agree weight goes up like a rocket and comes down like a helium balloon.
So, until I drop the 20 or so pounds needed to don a slim-fit shirt, I am left with the task of finding attire that will fit my larger-than-average frame.
It took a while, but I did finally find a couple shirts that I feel comfortable in and do not make me look like a fashion reject.
And on a side note, could someone please explain to me how one XXL shirt can be so much smaller than another XXL shirt? Who does the measuring and how did they get the job in the first place?
I have run into the same problem with pants, shoes and socks.
Anyway, I have completed my quest, have two new shirts and am ready for work.

I will likely need a couple more shirts in a few years, better start looking now.

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