I'm sorry, I have been trying to feel
sorry for them, but I just can't do it.
You know who the one per cent are,
right? They are the richest people in the world, while we, the 99 per
cent struggle to make ends meet.
I recently read a story that said the
one per cent of the one per cent – the ultra wealthy – are sad
because they feel isolated from the rest of the world because they
are so rich.
One even compared his plight to that of
prejudice faced by minorities.
Hmmm, there are children starving in
every corner of the world and you want me to feel sorry for you
because you have too much money?
I have a simple solution: give some of
your money away. You can help some of the poorest people in the
world, while reducing your wealth to fit in with the rest of the one
per cent.
See if you can't scrape by with a
paltry couple billion dollars instead of several billion.
Of course, we all know that will never
happen, so I guess we will just have to hope they can survive their
horrific ordeal of being ultra rich.
Speaking of horrific ordeals, a man
died in a hospital in Buffalo, but not without putting up a valiant
fight.
For two hours the man was breathing,
moving his legs and attempting to hug loved ones who had gathered
around his bed, but all the while two doctors were assuring the
family the man had died some time ago. They even called the coroner
to collect the body – twice – and both times the coroner said he
was called too soon, but the doctors would not budge.
Finally, after much badgering by the
family the doctors conducted yet another examination only to exclaim,
“My God, he has a pulse!”
I am no doctor, but when I see someone
breathing and moving around, I am pretty sure he has a pulse.
The man did die a short time later from
a punctured lung caused when he was given CPR for the heart attack he
suffered. Had he been treated sooner he likely would have lived.
Yes, the family is filing a lawsuit.
From the
how-do-you-walk-and-talk-at-the-same-time file comes a really dumb
driver.
Police pulled a man over in Oklahoma on
suspicion of drunk driving. Police determined the man was not
impaired and were going to send him on his way when he became
confrontational and told police “If you think I am doing something
wrong, then go ahead and search my truck.”
Which they did, finding a secret box in
the engine compartment that hid 17 pounds of heroin.
The moral of the story is learn when to
keep your big mouth shut. But this genius will have plenty of time to
think about that while in a federal prison.
From the you-might-want-to-double-check
file comes the story of a French woman who thought she had hit it
big.
The unidentified woman thought she had
won the lottery, sending her on a wild spending spree in celebration
of the big win.
However, when her husband thought the
lotto was taking too long to send them their hard-won money, he
discovered the 'winning' ticket was off by one number.
This resulted in cheques bouncing all
over the country and the wife sheepishly trying to explain the
situation to police who arrested her for fraud.
She received a suspended sentence and
had to pay back some $6,000 for the items she purchased.
And finally from the hell-hath-no-fury
file, police in Romania claim a woman attempted to cut off her
husband's naughty bits because he did not bring her flowers on
International Woman's Day.
Gee, with such a caring, gentle wife
how could he forget flowers?
While she never denied cutting her
husband, the woman said it was because he was avoiding housework and
came home drunk.
If they stay together, you can bet she
will have a spotless house filled with flowers given to her by a very
sober husband.
Copyright 2016, Darren Handschuh
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