Friday, January 20, 2017

I'm a weather wussy and I admit it

Dear Old Man Winter: Stop it.
I readily admit I am a weather wussy.
I am not a fan of snow, nor cold and when you put them both together as this fine nation does every year...well, let's just say a hacienda in Mexico sounds better every day.
My dislike of winter weather begins long before the snow flies. It actually starts when the frost begins.
You know those frigid morning where you haven't adjusted your schedule to accommodate the time you need to scrape off the diamond-hard layer of frozen water on your windshield.
And then there is the frost on the inside of the window. As the car is warming up and you have take a credit card out of your wallet and scrape the interior of your car windows, sending those little white snow-like bits of frost all over the dash.
And now you are late for work so, with the heater on full blast, you gingerly make your way out of your driveway while scrunching down to look through the tiny spot at the bottom of the windshield that the heater has managed to melt.
When you get to work, the windshield is clear and your car is toasty warm – just in time to park it for eight hours so it can return to being a car-sicle for you warm up again so you can go home.
At least you don't have to shovel frost, but you know when the frost comes, the white frozen water that falls from the sky is not that far behind.
One thing I do find very amusing about snow is all the people who say it caught them by surprise.
How does an entire season catch anyone by surprise. Unless you just moved here from that hacienda I was talking about, you know snow will eventually find its way to your doorstep.
It's too bad there was not some sort of warning the snow was coming. Perhaps a device with numbers, days of the week and months on it that would indicate what season it is.
I do not know what to call this device, but it sure would come in handy to help people figure out roughly when winter is going to make an appearance. We could even hang it on the wall where it would be easy to see.
Perhaps the old timers, which is pretty much anyone over two years old, could tell those drivers that every year, winter happens in Canada.
That way, they will not be caught by surprise.
When the first snow hits, local tire shops are swamped with surprised who people who thought maybe this year there would be no snow and are stunned to find out that there is.
Imagine that, snow in Canada in the wintertime.
The first snowfall of the year also brings with it accidents as all those surprised people forget that snow is not only cold, it is slippery.
Every year the RCMP issue an official warning, urging people to slow down and drive carefully.
That is right up there with the warning on a hair dryer that it is not to be used in the shower.
Do we really need an official warning to figure these things out?
I guess we do, actually, because there they are.
I do admit the first snow fall of the year (you know, the one that catches everyone by surprise) is usually the toughest one to drive in because you have to re-learn how a car handles in the snow.
But if you ease up on the gas pedal and remember that tip about snow being slippery, you should be just fine.
We still have a few more weeks of winter ahead of us so remember drive safe, defrost your windows and dream of that hacienda where the coldest thing you will have to worry about is the ice in your drink.

Copyright 2017, Darren Handschuh

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