Viva la revolution

By DARREN HANDSCHUH
It’s time for a revolution.
Not an overthrow-the-government kind of revolution (although that might not be such a bad idea), but a fashion revolution.
History is full of examples of men and women having to wear unbearably uncomfortable clothing strictly in the name of fashion.
This is especially true for women. For centuries, the ladies of this world have borne the brunt of fashion cruelty.
From corsets that were so tight women could barely breath to the torturous high-heel shoes that are still around today, woman’s fashions must have been designed by a man who never had to wear any of that stuff.
I honestly do not know how you ladies walk in high-heel shoes. I tried it once (it was for Halloween, honest) and I could barely take two steps without stumbling. By step 10, my feet were screaming to be released.
While high heels are still prominent in modern society, there have been a series of fashion revolutions that have freed people from the confines of uncomfortable and even painful clothing worn only because someone, somewhere decided it was fashionable.
I say it is time another fashion revolution.
Can someone please tell me why I am not allowed to wear socks with sandals? That’s right, I admit it. I love wearing socks and sandals.
Socks and sandals are one of the most comfortable foot-covering combinations available to the human race.
It’s the best of both worlds – airy footwear and the soft comfort of a sock - but nooooo, we can’t wear socks with sandals.
Why? Who made this rule and why do we have to conform to it?
Was it some sort of sock hater who wants the world to run around with their toes sticking out?
What if you have ugly toes and still want to wear sandals? Wouldn’t it make more sense to cover the ugly bits with a sock rather than risk scaring small children?
In the 1960s and ‘70s the mantra was “Burn the bra.”
Well I say for 2009 and beyond, the new fashion rallying cry should be “Sock the sandal.”
You see the occasional fashion rebel wearing the minimalist shoes with cotton foot coverings, but it is time for every one who enjoys open, breezy footwear to stand up and free the foot.
A friend of mine told me you are allowed to wear socks and sandals as long as the socks are grey and wool.
Who wants to wear wool socks on a hot day? The goal is to keep my feet cool, not encase them in winter gear.
He said white socks and black socks are not acceptable and doing so may cause the wearer to be branded a fashion dork.
To the oppressors I say, “Get bent.”
I like wearing socks and sandals because my feet are caressed by the coolness of the open-toed foot wear and I hate getting sand and grit between my toes as it drives me crazy, but with socks, that rarely happens.
I say we rise up and conform no more. Ladies, you understand the demands of fashion and how repressive they can be, so feel free to slip into something more comfortable.
Men, you know you want to walk around in the cooling comfort of sandals while still enjoying the encasement of cotton, so it is time to stand up and yell, “My feet are as uncomfortable as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.”
Then take off those dress shoes, runners or loafers, throw on a pair of sandals with any colour sock you want and proudly go about your business.
Who’s with me?
Wear the fashion faux pas to the grocery store, wear them to school and yes, I say, even wear them to work.
The only difference between dress shoes and sandals is a handful of material. Take a pair of scissors to your dress shoes and you can create a pair of sandals.
Wear dress socks and sandals to business meetings. While the feet of everyone else will be sweating and fermenting, your feet will feel cool and refreshed.
Rise up good people and be repressed no more.
Viva la revolution.
shoenews@shaw.ca