Friday, July 13, 2012

These bad guys are making it too easy

Wowzers, talk about sea weed.
The U.S. navy gathered up 19,000 pounds of pot that was dumped by three boats off the coast of California.
An American aircraft carrier was on exercise when an alert sailor spotted two boats in the distance. A helicopter was sent to check it out and when it was spotted, people on the boat started tossing black bags into the water.
The navy sent a smaller boat to the area and discovered more marijuana than a Woodstock reunion.
A little while later a third boat was seen dumping even more pot into the ocean. The navy collected 186 bails of the popular product.
They thought they saw more bails, but were unable to find them.
Crew members picking up the pot also reported seeing some of the most laid back, mellow dolphins they have ever come across.
Here’s some disturbing news: it would seem the hamburgers used in McDonalds commercials are not taken directly from the assembly line.
I was shocked as well.
According to an industry insider, the assembly line burgers are slapped together in less than a minute while the ones used in the commercials take hours to make and are then computer enhanced to perfect every minor detail down to the placement of the poppy seeds on the bun.
I can’t believe it. Using a computer-enhanced image to try and sell something to the unsuspecting public is just plain wrong.
I hope the fashion industry does not hear about this or the next thing we know all of those perfect-looking models will be even more perfect after being digitally enhanced.
That could cause self esteem problems for millions of women who want to look like a model but cannot possibly live up to the computer-enhanced versions.
Speaking of McDonalds, a lady was arrested and charged with DUI for falling asleep at the wheel in a Micky Dees drive through.
It was a pretty straight forward case: she ordered a fillet of fish and then passed out. Cops showed up and arrested her.
The woman said she had been drinking, but argued that was the only way she was able to eat anything from McDonalds.
I don’t agree with drunk driving, but I can see her point when it comes to eating at McDonalds.
I read on the Internet, scientists estimate that at any given point a person is no more than three feet away from a spider.
This study proves a couple things. First there are way too many spiders in the world. Second, it proves there are some scientists with way to much time on their hands.
I am not sure how extensive the study was, but if it was in the Interweb then it has to be true. Just like when the government says they won’t bring in the HST and…oh, forget it.
These other guys are not exactly criminal masterminds.
Bad guy No. 1 actually worked for a U.S. sheriff’s department in a clerical role. One night this whiz kid decided to break into the office and ‘liberate’ some of the money from parking fines that was stored in a desk.
He snuck in through a window, jimmied a lock on a desk, took the money and ran. Only he forgot about the surveillance camera.
Easiest arrest the department has ever made, all they had to do was wait for him to show up for work.
I wonder if these guys are related. In a different case a man was in an interrogation room being questioned about a burglary when the officer stepped out for a minute.
The cranial-challenged individual proceeded to take the clock down off the wall and stuff it in his backpack before the officer came back.
As soon at the officer returned he noticed the clock was missing and the two other officers watching the interrogation through the one-way mirror managed to stop laughing long enough to make the bust.
Some people bring stupid to a whole new level.

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