Monday, March 11, 2013

Stupid is as stupid does - and then some

You have to be a special kind of stupid to do things like this.
From dumb criminals to equally dumb consumers, there is just no end to boneheads who do bonehead things.
Officials at England’s 12th-century St. Peter’s Church in Seaford, which is renowned for its eerie quiet, created a 30-minute CD recently of near-total silence.
The CD started out as a local project, but word of mouth has spread demand as far away as Africa.
The only sound on the entire CD is the faint squeak of a floorboard as someone walks near the microphone.
When asked why he purchased the CD, one man said, “Sometimes you just need peace and quiet.”
I have an even cheaper way to listen to silence – turn the CD player off. There, silence without the expense. In fact, you will save money on electricity.
I just can’t fathom why someone would spend perfectly good money on a CD that plays silence. Put in a blank CD and it will have the same effect.
I have an idea for a DVD that doesn’t show any pictures. I think it just might catch on.
From dumb consumers to even dumber criminals.
In Idaho, an 18-year-old decided to rob a convenience store. Nothing odd about that, except the clerk at this convenience store was his own mother.
Police determined she knew nothing of the plot, and Junior was charged with armed robbery. Mom was understandibly traumatized and refuses to believe it was her own son who robbed her, but she admits she had her suspicions when the crook asked what was for dinner before he ran out with a bag full of loot.
I wonder if that guy is related to our next genius. A man in Ohio walked into a bank and asked to have his account balance checked.
He gave the teller the pertinent information, and she said the account was all but drained.
The man then said, “This is a stick up, give me all your money.”
The teller did, and when police arrived, she gave a very detailed description of the bad guy along with his name, social security number and home address.
Police made it to his house before he did.
A man in Utah was arrested for robbing a hotel patron of $14 and a case of beer. Again, not that unusual of a story until you learn the man has been arrested 66 times for a variety of offences.
You would think after 30 or 40 criminal offences someone would realize he is not going to rehabilitate himself and that some real jail time may be in order.
While that guy may not spend any time in jail, wolves in France do. Thanks to conservation efforts, the predators have come back from the brink of extinction and are now gobbling up farmers’ sheep.
To combat the feeding frenzy, the government has come up with a doozy of a plan – the wolves are put in jail.
They are captured alive, marked and held in captivity for a time before being released, “hoping they will figure out it is bad to kill sheep.”
The amazing part is there is some government agency somewhere, filled with employees who spent who knows how much time and money coming up with the plan.
If that doesn’t work, perhaps they could hire someone to run around with a giant spray bottle and blast the wolves in the face every time they eat a sheep while yelling “Bad wolfie! Bad, bad wolfie!”
It goes to show, dumb governmental departments are not limited to the Canadian Senate.

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