Wednesday, February 26, 2014

These criminals are a special kind of stupid

The 'brilliance' of the human mind never ceases to amaze me - especially the human criminal mind.
How some of these people manage to walk and talk at the same time is a true mystery.
In the United States, many bonehead acts of criminality involve firearms of some sort and often the results are ridiculous - from bad guys shooting themselves to gun fights at family barbecues, there is no shortage of stupid human interaction with weaponry.
A trio of bad guy wannabes found this out the hard way when they committed a home invasion.
They kicked in the front door of a house, grabbed the homeowner and locked him in an upstairs closet - the same closest the homeowner kept his rather extensive gun collection in.
A few minutes later the home owner burst out of the closet locked, loaded and ready to defend his home.
Which he did. The unidentified homeowner came out guns a blazing, literally - wounding one of the bad guys in the shoulder and leg. The other two managed to get away, but were arrested a short time later.
Doing a home invasion in the U.S. signifies you are not too bright to begin with because what are the odds of you picking a home that does not have some sort of gun in it?
Anyone who watches American news knows how much trouble their love of firepower can cause. An online news agency said 11 people died last year after being shot...wait for it... by toddlers.
It would seem the young ones got their tiny hands on loaded weapons and accidentally fired them, killing almost a dozen people.
I guess the moral of the story is if you have a gun, secure it. Like in a closet or something.
This next one does not involve gun play, but a distant cousin of Mickey.
A 20-year-old man in Portland was arrested for trying to steal a case of beer from an area grocery store.
The pilfering did not go as planned and police promptly pounced on the perp.
They took the man to the police station and while emptying his pockets they found a live mouse.
The man's father was called to get the mouse, but all hell broke loose when a live cat jumped out of his pants and chased the mouse around the jail house.
I am kidding about the cat part of that tale, but the mouse part is real, proving once again police may have a thankless job, but it is an interesting job.
Speaking of the men and women of law enforcement, it is kind of nice when a criminal makes their job a whole lot easier.
In West Virginia a university football player robbed a local convenience store - while wearing his team jersey with his name across the back.
I don't know what courses he was taking, but I am pretty sure he was not at the top of his class.
This last one is not a crime, but it is so weird I could not let it go. A 55-year-old woman in the Netherlands had to be treated by a doctor because she experienced orgasms emanating form her left foot.
The woman would have up to eight orgasms a day. She said they were exactly the same as a regular orgasm.
Doctors said the nerve going from her left foot that enters the spinal cord at about the same level as the vaginal nerve was to blame. The doctors concluded an injury caused the nerves to cross, triggering the orgasms.
Her 'condition' has been corrected, but since news of the incident came out, area hospitals have been flooded by women with a variety of foot injuries.

1 comment:

Karen Bouchard said...

I totally lost it at "a cat jumped out of his pants" ... Where do you come up with these things? Why would they even call the guy's father for a mouse?