Friday, March 14, 2014

If being married wasn't so great, it would be terrible

They fell in love and lived happily ever after.
Yeah, right.
More accurately: They fell in love, got married and discovered there was a wide range of differences, beliefs and ways of thinking that on occasion produced moments of heated discussions. There were times of great happiness, but also moments of great challenges. (Insert mother-in-law comment here)
Deep down, the married couple were still in love and still wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, but on the surface there was turbulence once in a while.
Love is kind of like a submarine: it floats around under the water where things are calm and peaceful, while the surface can occasionally be raging with a hurricane the size of Jupiter.
Anyone who thinks marriage is nothing but a blissful ride of merriment, sunshine and lollipops is someone who is more than likely still single.
Marriage can be terrific, but it can also be hard.
My wife has always said divorce is not an option, but there are times when I know she has looked at me and thought, “With a good lawyer I can be out in 10 years, 15 tops. And if I make it look like an accident...”
I am just kidding of course, at least that is what I keep telling myself.
Marriage is the melding of two minds. Two people must learn to think as one, to become one flesh as the bible says, and that is a task easier said than done because you still want and need to retain your own identity, but you also have to work together. A unified front is vital when children start arriving. It is important to be on the same page when it comes to discipline, religion and instilling a work ethic.
For the most part, our marriage is quite harmonious and generally we do enjoy wedded bliss, but even after 25 years it still has its challenging moments.
But we are both human with our own flaws, wants, needs and hang ups that occasionally produce a bump on the road of matrimonial merriment.
When some couples encounter a bump, and neither is willing to admit they were the one who put it there, that tiny, little bump grows into a volcano that threatens to consume the entire island of marriage.
The more volcanos you build, the more difficult it is to get around the marital island without getting hot lava splashed all over you.
Eventually the land becomes so full of spewing volcanos, the island of marriage is abandoned and both people move away and settle on new islands.
Marriage can be difficult at times, there is no doubt, but like anything worth having, it is worth working for.
During a marriage course the Missus and I took many year ago, the speaker said men wanted to be respected and women wanted to be loved.
My wife and I have tried to put that into practice, and it really does work.
Showing your wife love doesn't have to mean slaying a dragon (which is why there are no dragons left anymore.) It can be something as simple as getting her a bouquet of flowers, of which there are plenty.
The thrill of receiving a bunch of dying plants as an expression of love eludes my man mind, but the ladies dig it so who am I to argue.
They may look frilly, soft and tender, but flowers are powerful enough to quell a raging volcano.
On occasion I do complain about being married (who doesn't) but overall it is a blessing that I could not imagine living without.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great article. Marriage is made in heaven and it is by God's grace, mercy and love that it can be lived out and enjoyed here on earth.