Wednesday, May 28, 2014

What I would do if I won the lotto

I watched one of those shows the other day about what people do after they win huge money on the lottery and it got me thinking about what I would do.
My mind jumped to the hopefully not-so-distant future and I saw myself going to head office with a bottle of champaign and wearing a Speedo to tell my boss I am officially retiring.
OK, the Speedo thing may be a little extreme, but rest assured when I do win the lotto, I will make a grand exit from my place of employment.
In fact, the wind from me running out the door will be strong enough to knock people over. 
I never understood people who win the lotto and make no changes to their lives. I saw one couple win $7 million only to keep their ramshackle house, part-time janitorial jobs and their beat up station wagon.
If you are not going to do anything with the money, why play in the first place?
If I were to get all six numbers right, the media interview would go a little differently.
Media person: So, are you going to quit your job?
Me: Hell ya.
Media person: Will you buy a new house?
Me: You betcha.
Media person: Will you take a vacation?
Me: Did I say hell ya already?
Media person: Will you give any to your friends and family?
Me: Who?
I am kidding of course. Yes, I would spread the wealth around, especially if I won a ridiculous amount of money.
I am sure I would have more friends than I ever realized. People I had not communicated with in years will be calling me up and to rekindle our long-lost friendship that sadly fell to the side due to the commitments of life.
New friend: Hey buddy, how ya doing? Man, I haven't heard from you in a while. Been meaning to call you for a long time now.
Me: And you are?
New friend: Ha, you are such a kidder. You remember, Mike, me and some other guys used to bully you in school all the time. We should get together.
More new friends: Hey man, you remember me right? I used to sit behind you in third grade. I was the kid with the pencil. We were tight m'man, really tight. We should get together.
The good part about that scenario is I already know who my friends are, so no new applicants need not apply. Money can't buy you love, but it can make you popular.
I would imagine calls from long-lost relatives would also be forthcoming.
New relative: Hey cousin, you remember me, right? I am your mom's, aunt's, cousin's sister. We really should get together and catch up on old times.
Me: No.
Winning the lotto would alleviate some problems, but I would imagine it would generate new ones.
Oddly enough, I think money would still be a problem. Not like it is now where lack of money is the challenge, but suddenly having a whole bunch of money would add a different aspect to financial concerns.
How much would you give away? Who would get what? How do you determine what amount to give your friends?
And no matter how much you give, I am sure there will always be someone who feels they did not get enough.
So having lots of money would also be problematic and could greatly complicate your life, but should fate deem me worthy of becoming an instant millionaire, it is a risk I am willing to take.
Of course, I would have to buy a lottery ticket before I can win the lotto.
There is always a kink in every plan.

copyright 2014, Darren Handschuh  

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