Murphy the Wonder Dog has started doing something new and I am not impressed.
As if barking at every living thing he sees, or charging dogs 10 times bigger than he is, or having to stop, sniff and pee on every single blade of grass in the Free World were not enough to make him annoying, this new activity is downright gross.
Murphy the Mutt has suddenly developed a passion for rolling in things.
The other day, the Missus and I were taking him for a walk along a woodland path where he could run free and enjoy nature.
We have been to this spot dozens of times without incident, but then one day Murph decided rolling in a big pile of dog doo-doo would be the perfect way to end the outing.
When we all piled into the van (yes, I drive a mini-van as required by law if you are middle aged with several kids) we noticed the unmistakable smell of dog poop.
We checked the bottom of our shoes thinking we had tread upon such a foul material, but we were clean.
I then looked back at Murphy and he had the biggest, dumbest grin on his face I have ever seen. He also had dog poop all over his left shoulder and side.
If I may, I would like to go on a bit of a rant. If you take your dog for a walk, be it around the block, in a park or along a nature trail, PICK UP AFTER THEM! It is easy to do. You just carry a little bag with you and when you dog does its business, you pick up the poop with the bag and throw it in the garbage. A simple solution to a messy problem. No one wants to step in that so don't be an ignorant jerk.
Anyway, Murph the Surf was obviously proud of his accomplishment and was thrilled with the results of his effort.
Driving home with all the windows rolled down, the odour was still enough to gag a corpse. The messy mutt then went straight into the bath, where he shook and shivered like he always does.
I had no sympathy for him whatsoever. He hates water and having a bath is like a form of CIA water torture for him, but when you roll in poop, you get a bath – simple as that.
I thought perhaps his misadventures with animal scat was a one-time event. He had never done that before, so perhaps in a moment of weakness he was enticed by the lure of, um, er, well I don't know what the lure would be, but he was enticed by it.
My hopes the event was a one off were soon dashed, however.
A few days later we were visiting my parents who live in the country. While picking some plums, I looked over and saw that same dumb grin as Murph rolled around on a pile of deer droppings.
I do not know why dogs do this and am surprised Murphy suddenly decided to take up the hobby.
I have friends with dogs that roll in everything they can find and the more disgusting the better, but they have been doing that since they were pups.
Dog poop – great. Fresh cow poop – even better. Rotting critter of some sort – the best.
But I always thought dogs did not develop new habits when they were adults. But during his sixth summer on this earth, Murphy has decided rolling in poop is just the thing he needs to blow off steam for the day.
We will have to keep a close eye on him from now on and he had better get used to baths because I suspect there will be a lot of them in his future.
Copyright 2014 Darren Handschuh