Friday, March 20, 2015

Nude joggers, beer shootouts and stoned dogs - must be time for the news

A lawmaker in Nevada wants the family dog to have access to medical marijuana.
Democrat Tick Segerblom wants pet owners to be allowed to obtain the drug for their animals if a veterinarian confirms it "may mitigate the symptoms or effects" of a chronic or debilitating medical condition.
OK, first of all the man's name is Tick. How can you possibly take someone serious if they are named after a blood-sucking insect?
Mind you, he is a politician...
Anyway, so Tick wants the family mutt to have access to pot. The proposed bill also includes letting people access marijuana for their health needs.
The people thing has been debated and allowed in many areas for a few years now, but this is the first time I have heard about pot for pets.
This raises a few questions like, without thumbs, how is the dog going to roll a joint in the first place? (Let alone light it and hold it.)
I wonder if Tick (makes me laugh every time) owns shares in any local dog food companies because if he does successfully lobby to allow dogs to get stoned, I am pretty sure there will a spike in sales when the mutts gets the munchies.
In other odd news, it would seem people are having trouble keeping their clothes on.
Montreal police have been getting reports of a nude jogger dashing through the snow wearing only running shoes and socks.
Running along a snow-covered street while naked has got to be dangerous. If you were to slip and fall on the jagged ice you could hurt your exposed...pride.
But this clown must be brave because he is willing to run around naked in cold weather. That is no 'small' feat. I wonder if he will 'shrink' away from the spotlight now.
In Pakistan, a man was arrested after posting a video of himself riding a motorcycle down a city street in the buff. As if posting it wasn't bad enough, this guy did it again after betting his friends he could.
Police arrested him as he was leading a procession of motorcyclists who were cheering on his antics.
I thought running nude was crazy. I do not even want to think about the impending road rash if you  crash a motorcycle when you were naked.
There was no word if he was wearing a helmet (safety first) and the man is facing a variety of charges.
I wonder if he has any relatives in Montreal.
In New Orleans, a 64-year-old man is facing charges after a case of beer rage. It would seem the boozy bozo asked a neighbour for a Budweiser beverage, but was instead handed a Busch brewsky.
The pair then entered into a heated debate about the merits of certain kinds of beers. Tempers flared and in true American fashion, the 64-year-old pulled a handgun and pointed it at his 66-year-old-neighbour as he pressed his point that Bud was the best beer to buy.
Not to be outdone, the neighbhour produced a shotgun and wounded the man who had the handgun.
Police declared the shooting was self defence and that both men are idiots.
The good news is neither of the men were naked during the altercation.
And lastly, in Seattle a man was arrested and charged with robbery after holding up a doughnut shop and stealing a single maple bar.
Emplpoyees had asked the man to leave, but he then reached into his pocket like he had a gun. He ordered the employees to the rear of the store and then rummaged through the selection of treats. An employee called police who arrested the sticky finger bandit a couple blocks away.
You know this guy is going to have it rough behind bars.
It will be tough to get respect from his fellow inmates once they learn he was busted for stealing a pastry.
But the good news is, he was fully clad during the entire event.

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