I didn't know I wanted Netflix until my son told me I do

I came home from work the other day and Junior informed me he had signed us up for Netflix.
“That was very kind of you son. And, why do I want Netflix?”
“Because they have tons of cool shows.”
“OK, and I assume I will be the one paying for all these cool shows.”
“Um, er, well...lemme show you what all they have.”
So now, I have Netflix (which actually is pretty cool.)
They do have a lot of good stuff – and a lot of stuff I could care less about – but it has more that interests me than what is on TV, so I figure I will give it a try.
The problem is, our television set is so old, Fred Flintstone used to watch it.
It is an old bubble TV that we got for free when our other ancient TV packed it in a couple of years ago. But despite its age, it does everything I require of a TV – it lets me watch TV.
The challenge now was, how do I get Netflix from our wi-fi router to our ancient boob tube?
There had to be a way, so the Missus and I headed to the local electronics store to see what kind of gizmo we would need to make the magic happen.
The first store we stopped at we were assisted by a lad so young his voice had barely finished changing.
We explained our situation while he looked at us with a blank stare.
He then called his manager over – who was just slightly older - and she too gave us a blank stare and said they could not help us.
Hmm, perhaps this will be a little more difficult than I thought.
But we carried on with our quest and explained the situation to the kid at the next store.
This guy seemed a little older as was evident by the three whiskers he had growing out of his chin. I had a pair of shoes older than he was, but at least he was not giving us the blank stare.
But as we told Scooter about the situation, he did look at us like we were hill folk in town for our annual pilgrimage.
Obviously, he could not believe someone – anyone – in this day and age would still have a bubble TV.
On the outside, he listened patiently, but I am sure on the inside he was thinking: “These old people need to get with the times. I hope they don't break a hip in the store. I wonder where they parked their walkers?
"A bubble TV ... I can't wait to tell everyone on lunch break.”
I am not at the top of the tech game, but I am hardly a dinosaur – even if my TV was around the same time T-Rex was.
I may have recently slid past the 50 mark, but I am hardly ready for a home – although some days, it does sound appealing.
Unlike Skippy at the first store, this guy actually had an idea of what we needed, and after he explained the situation to a much older co-worker – this guy was at least 25 – they found what we were looking for.
It is some sort of adapter that receives the wi-fi signal and will hook up to our Jurassic TV set.
I must admit, deep down I was scanning new TVs and secretly hoping we could replace the bubble with a new, high-tech contraption, but Scooter came through and the gizmo thingy works just fine.

--> That's OK, the gizmo cost a lot less than a new TV and the bubble TV works just fine – and now it works with Netflix.

Copyright 2016, Darren Handschuh

Too much technology for my aging brain

It's happening and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Time is leaving me in the dust.

Well, more accurately modern technology is leaving me in the dust and I find myself turning into one of those “grumpy old people” who complain about modern times and start many a sentence with, “When I was younger...” or something similar.

There are just simply too many computers and gadgets out there for me to keep up with.

While I am hardly a computer genius, I can use the infernal contraptions with some level of proficiency.

Hey, a low level is still a level.

I have a Smart phone, Facebook account, Twitter account and a blog, but my techo-prowess pales in comparison to anything my kids are doing.

They will talk about some techno trend like it is old news and I have not even heard about it yet.

There are all sorts of new gizmos and devices coming out faster than I can possibly keep track of.

Watches with more computer power than the original moon landing craft are commonplace and I can only imagine what the electro-techno world will birth over the coming years.

The leaps and bounds in technology and how it is benefitting (and hurting) mankind have been nothing short of astounding.

When I was a youngster (see, there it is) there was no such thing as the Internet, but my kids have never known life without it.

They never had to skim through an encyclopedia to get the information they were looking for. Instead they searched for it online.

Just type in a phrase or word and what you are looking for magically appears on your screen.

Sometimes the search turns up millions of options – which is kind of like saying we found what you are looking for, it's on planet Earth – but you can refine your search and narrow it down to find the information you are looking for.

I must admit, the whole online thing is way faster and provides a lot more information than those funny-smelling books that weighed seven pounds each and were out of date months after they arrived at the school library.

When I graduated school in the early '80s, computers were a thing of science fiction, or at best a novelty item you read about in a magazine.

Now, the stupid things are everywhere and you don't even need a computer to search for something on the World Wide Web. You can do it from your phone, your iPad, and all sorts of devices.

I may not be at the top of the tech game, but I sure find all the different things you can do nowadays impressive.

When I was a kid (see, there I go again) I was amazed when I saw my first wireless remote for the TV.

What kind of sorcery is this?

You don't have to get up to change the channel? To increase the volume? Not even to turn the idiot box off?

Magical.

I am convinced those days marked the beginning of the Fat Ages, when having to get up and walk seven feet to your TV was too much effort.

You know you are getting old when a wireless TV remote was a major technological breakthrough of your youth.

However, I do try to keep up on the latest Interweb trends, but some of this stuff is beyond me.

And a lot of the stuff out there doesn't interest me.

But it is highly unlikely any of this technology is going away any time soon, so I do what little I can (and believe me, it is little) to try and stay abreast of the latest and greatest crazes and trends.

I try, but I know I do not succeed. Things are just changing too fast for an 'old geezer' like me to stay on top of.

But I will do my best to maintain some sort of techno-prowess, even if I don't know what the hell is going on half the time.

Copyright 2016, Darren Handschuh

Trying to figure out these new fangled gadgets

It's happening and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
Time is leaving me in the dust. Well, more accurately modern times are leaving me in the dust and I find myself turning into one of those “grumpy old people” who complain about kids these days and start many a sentence with, “When I was your age...” or something similar.
The biggest area of struggle to keep up with is technology.
While I am hardly a computer genius, I can use the infernal contraptions with some level of poficiency.
Hey, a low level is still a level.
I have a smart phone, FaceBook account, Twitter account and a blog, but my techo-prowess pales in comparison to anything my kids are doing.
“Can I borrow your phone for a minute. I want to go on Snapchat,” said teen daughter the other day.
Snap-whatzit?
Appearantly, Snapchat is an online photo sharing thingy where you can post a pic or video to a select group of people.
The picture then disappears after a short period of time.
OK, the thrill eludes me, but I am not a teen – not by a long shot.
There are all sorts of new gizmos, techo-gadgets and devices coming out faster than I can possibly keep track of.
Watches with more computer power than the original moon landing craft are commonplace and I can only imagine what the electro-techno world will birth over the coming years.
The leaps and bounds in technology and how it is benefitting (and hurting) mankind have been nothing short of astounding.
When I was a youngster (see, there it is) there was no such thing as the Internet, but my kids have never known life without it.
They never had to skim through an encyclopedia to get the information they were looking for. Instead they searched for it online.
Just type in a phrase or word and what you are looking for magically appears on your screen.
Sometimes the search turns up milions of options – which is kind of like saying we found what you are looking for, it's on planet Earth – but you can refine your search and narrow it down to the information you are looking for.
I must admit, the whole online thing is way faster and provides a lot more information than those funny-smelling books that weighed seven pounds each and were out of date months after they arrived at the library.
Today, you don't even need a computer to search for something on the World Wide Web. You can do it from your phone, your iPad, and yes, even from a watch.
I may not be at the top of the tech game, but I sure find all the different things you can do nowadays impressive.
When I was a kid (see, there I go again) I was amazed when I saw my first wireless remote for the TV.
What kind of sorcery was this? You don't have to get up to change the channel? To increase the volume? Not even to turn the idiot box off?
Magical.
I am convinced those days marked the beginning of the Fat Ages, when having to get up and walk seven feet to your TV was too much effort.
I try to keep up on the latest Interweb trends, but some of this stuff is beyond me.
And a lot of the stuff out there doesn't interest me.
But it is highly unlikely any of this technology is going to go away any time soon, so I do what little I can (and believe me, it is little) to try and stay abreast of the latest and greatest crazes and trends.
I try, but I know I do not succeed. Things are just changing too fast for a 50-year-old geezer like me to stay on top of.
But I will do my best to maintain some sort of techno-prowess, even if I don't know what the hell is going on half the time.

Copyright 2015, Darren Handschuh

I could resist no longer - I bought an iPhone

What can I say, I finally caved to the seductive lure of the siren known as technology and was sucked into the high-tech age of 2014: I got an iPhone.
I spent years resisting getting a cell phone and when I did, it was a basic, simple, old-guy phone that did two things: sent texts and let me speak to people.
What more could you want? It did have a basic camera, but no video capability and none of that fancy pants stuff my kid's phones had.
But it did what I wanted it to do, even if it was ancient in cell phone years. It was, after all, five years old.
"Oh, you still have a phone like that,” said a very high-tech co-worker when he saw my dinosaur of a phone sitting on my desk.
I just looked up at him, jumped out of my chair and punched him in the throat.
"Let's see you talk on your fancy pants phone with a crushed larynx, pal.”
I am kidding of course. Violence never solves anything – unless someone brings my daughter home past curfew, then it is the only way to solve things.
When my daughter does start dating (somewhere around the age of 25) I will greet her suitor while sharpening my knife collection and talking to a 'friend' on the phone.
"Ya, I miss everyone in prison too. I have been staying out of trouble, but then again, my daughter hasn't dated anyone since that last kid. Yes, he is eating solid food again – I think.”
Anyway, back to the wonders of cell phones.
My daughter lost her old phone so we got her an iPhone, which she is thrilled with. However, she managed to find her old phone, so I was going to trade in my dino-phone and use her android phone – which was much more advanced.
However, the android phone was experiencing some technical challenges. The stupid thing wouldn't turn on, so I took it to the place we have our accounts only to be told getting it working again might not be covered because there was a crack – just slightly smaller than a mouse hair – in the corner of the screen.
"That could void the warranty, so you may have to pay for the repairs yourself,” the little phone expert guy told me.
So I jumped forward and punched him in the throat.
Once again, I am kidding.
Because I had my dino-phone for so long, I actually had a bit of a credit built up from my monthly payments and found out I could get an iPhone for a mere $4 a month more than I was paying for the dino-phone.
I decided to take the leap forward in technology and now I have a phone that can do everything but wash my car.
As the phone expert guy was explaining everything my new phone could do, I was amazed at what the little thing was capable of.
It has talk and text – pretty much all I needed in the first place – but it also has a decent camera, video capability, weather information, access to the Internet, emails and if I punch in the right combination of letters and numbers, I am pretty sure I can launch a thermal nuclear strike on mainland North Korea.
But the more he talked, the less I understood.
He rambled on about sliding this over here to do that, and sliding that over here to do this.
By the time he was done, I was missing the old tin cans with a string between them I used to play with as a child.
I am sure once I get familiarized with the new contraption, I will be using it like a pro.
But until that day arrives (long in the future) I will pester my kids about how to use the stupid thing, because to them, cellphones are as simple as two tin cans and a string.

Copyright 2014 Darren Handschuh