Friday, May 27, 2011

Cool it

It would happen every year.
Every summer, as the heat wave melted my feet into the laminate flooring of my castle, I would swear next year we are getting an air conditioner.
Right now there are more than likely a few shocked faces out there that someone could live in the Okanagan for 20 years and not have an a/c unit cooling the sweltering days of summer.
But for two decades, we endured the heat of an Okanagan summer with nothing more to cool us down than a bank of fans and wearing as little as possible (my apologies for the visual.)
At the peak of each heatwave, we would swear that next year we are getting air conditioning, even if I have to sell my mother-in-law to do it.
The springtime was always welcomed as the mercury started to rise and I basked in the glow of that big orange ball in the sky like a lizard on a rock.
But like clockwork every July we would start to mutter about how hot it is and how nice a/c would be. But we did not have a/c so we would go for leisurely strolls through the mall to get some heat relief.
By mid-August, when it traditionally gets hot enough to fry an egg on my bald forehead, we would vow to get the unit that would bring so much relief. No ifs, ands or buts. Next year, it is going to happen.
But then September would arrive, the temperature would drop to slightly less than the surface of the sun and we realized we survived yet another Okanagan summer without the benefit of the big machine that goes 'mmmmmm' and provides the refreshing coolness we enjoyed so much at the mall.
Then winter would hit and the last thing on our minds was air conditioning. Memories of sweating so bad you would lose five pounds just sleeping were forgotten ñ until the next summer.
Then it was back to the same old whine about how hot it was, how hard it is to sleep and perhaps we should move to the Yukon where they don't know what a hot Okanagan summer is.
That plan was always ñ and I do mean always ñ quashed as soon as it was hatched, because a Yukon summer may not be as hot, but the Yukon winter is a lot colder than anything the Valley could come up with and the only thing I dislike more than being too hot, is being too cold.
So, it was back to the whining and proclamations that next year we would get an a/c unit.
Well folks, after years of swearing we were getting a/c put into our house, we are getting an a/c unit put into our house.
Hallelujah, brothers and sisters. Can you give me an amen.
And unlike the numerous times in the past when we swore we would get the big box, this time we have actually ordered the unit and set up a time for the a/c guy to come by and hook us up to the delightful mechanism that will provide relief when it is most needed.
I don't know his name, or anything about him, but the a/c installer dude is now one of my best friends. Who wouldn't like someone who is making such a difference in your life?
Of course he is not doing it out of the kindness of his heart, and a/c units are not cheap, but the thought of sitting in my livingroom and sweating to the point where I look like Frosty the Snowman after he was locked in that greenhouse over ruled the expense.
Damn the money, I need coolness this year.
So if anyone out there wants to buy a mother-in-law...

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