Monday, March 5, 2012
How can i miss you, if you won't go away
I didn’t understand what they were talking about, and it wasn’t until many years later that I was hit by the proverbial bolt of lightning and my little brain suddenly screamed, “OK, now I get it.” The ‘they’ to which I am referring was a group of middle-aged gentleman who stopped by the convenience store I was working a graveyard shift at. It was the wee hours of the morning and they were collecting some much-needed supplies: beef jerky, chips, dip and a couple of, ahem, magazines. It was obvious they were going somewhere, so while the others were foraging and gathering, I chatted with one guy about their destination. Turns out they were headed to the hills down yonder to spend three days at a fishing cabin where the agenda called for them to drink beer, fish and drink beer. The man then said the best part was there would be no wives on the trip. To which the other gentlemen all let out a cheer, in unison. They really did. Being 20 years old at the time, I could not understand for the life of me why they would be happy to not be around the ladies. At that age, the ladies was about all I was able to think about. It didn’t make sense to me, but they were quite pleased with their looming women-free adventure so who was I to argue? They gathered their stuff, piled into a couple of pick-up trucks and off they went. Fast forward a couple decades and that bolt of lightning finally found its mark. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife and she really is the person I am meant to spend the rest of my life with, but after almost a quarter century of marriage attitudes change a little bit. When we first started dating I would jump for the phone every time it rang in hopes it was her. Now, I check caller ID and if I feel like talking to her… Come on, we have all done it at one point and you know it. Back in the day, if the little woman accidentally locked her keys in the car I would drop everything and go rushing to her rescue like a knight in shining armor. I would drive all the way across town through rain and snow and blazing heat just to unlock the door for my sweety lest she be inconvenienced. Things are done a little differently nowadays. The Missus: Hi, I just locked my keys in the car. Me: Well, why would you want to do that? The Missus: I didn’t want to, it just happened. Can you come unlock it for me? Me: Why don’t you call BCAA? The Missus: Because they take too long. Why can’t you? Me: Because, I am busy. The Missus: Doing what? Me: Well, right now I am busy not driving all the way across town in the rain and the snow and the blazing heat to unlock the van. Does it mean I love my wife less today than I did in the 1980s? Of course not, it just means our dynamics have changed somewhat. When we were first wed I would never think about going on a weekend fishing trip without her, but I now understand how accurate the term ‘separation makes the heart grow fonder’ really is. Besides, how can I miss her if we are always together. In fact, we are apart this weekend as she is on a ladies’ getaway to a local ski resort where instead of fishing and drinking beer, she and her friends will be lounging in a hot tub sipping wine. And if the ladies stop at a convenience store along the way and the clerk asks where they are going and why, you can bet your bottom dollar there will be a cheer or two from the other ladies before the conversation is over. Will I miss my wife when she is away? Of course I will, but probably not until I am done watching a manly movie about manly men doing manly things. You know, the kind of movie most women hate.