I admit to being somewhat of an Elvis fan.
I am hardly a rapid, salivating,
Elvis-is-the-next-best-thing-to-God kind of fan, but I appreciate and respect
what he has done for rock and roll.
I also like many of his songs and can see how countless
musical styles were based upon the ground-breaking anthems of the
hip-swiveling, lip-curling legend.
After all, he is the King of Rock and Roll with legions
of hardcore fans. Some people however take their pursuit of all things Elvis
over the top – way over the top - and will eagerly purchase anything even
remotely associated with the King.
But it is good to have a hobby and at least they are not
wasting their money of stupid stuff like food, or a college education for their
children.
One of my hobbies is watching in amusement as these super
fans purchase all sorts of Elvis-related materials. One guy spent several
thousand dollars on a Styrofoam cup that the King supposedly used during one of
his shows.
The seller had no official documentation that the piece
of foam was actually the chalice used by the King to whet his whistle, but he
swore he took the cup from Elvis himself during the show. He had a picture of
Elvis backstage drinking from ‘a’ Styrofoam cup, but there was no definitive
evidence it was ‘the’ Styrofoam cup.
The owner put it up for sale and the bids soared into the
thousands of dollars.
In an unrelated story, news of one being born every
minute was officially confirmed.
So while the King’s cup may have been questionable, his
snot blaster apparently was not. Yup, some rabid Elvis fan spent thousands of
dollars to purchase a nasal suction bulb that was used by the man himself.
Nothing says rock and roll memorabilia like a big piece
of Elvis booger. The good news is there was proof the snot sucker was in fact
used by the King.
Thank God he did not get enemas, because you know someone
would want that piece of medical equipment.
“Hey Bob, isn’t that an enema bulb in that glass case
hanging above your fireplace?”
“It sure it, but that is not just any butt blaster, that
is the butt blaster of the King. Do you want to touch it?”
“No, no I do not.”
Sound too strange to be true? If there is one thing I
have learned by watching Elvis fans it is nothing is too strange.
Case in point is the auctioning off of a pair of the
King’s underwear.
It would seem someone has been holding on to a pair of
ginch worn by Mr. Presley during a show in the late 1970s. It is sealed in a
glass case along with pictures of Elvis from the show.
You can’t see the underwear in the photos, but it is said
they are the ones he was wearing underneath one of those glittery, leather jumpsuits
he was so fond of.
After a show under hot lights wrapped in cow hide, one
could imagine the state of the underwear that were doffed and tossed onto the laundry
pile.
If you thought sweaty and icky, you would be right. And
that is the main selling feature – I kid you not.
“Unwashed and
still soiled with stains” is actually how the seller is promoting the item.
They were never washed after the show and have been in their natural condition ever
since.
They are
hailed as pristine and the seller explains Elvis wore this type of underwear
because he did not want any lines showing through his stylish jump suit.
I am not sure
why they were never washed, but I am pretty sure the hardcore Elvis fans
wouldn’t have it any other way.
And you know
that at some point in time, someone has tried those undies on just to say they
wore the soiled, sweaty, dirty undies of the King of Rock and Roll.
Personally,
that is a bragging point I could live with out.
Oh, and just
in case you were hoping to throw down a bid on the briefs, the King’s
tightey-whitey’s are expected to go for more than 10,000-pounds in a London
auction house.
Long live the
King.
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