Friday, January 17, 2014

Things have changed after 25 years of wedded bliss

It wasn't exactly a trip to Vegas, but it was still an enjoyable evening to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary last summer.
Yes, somehow my wife has put up with me for a quarter of a century. How she does it is just as much a mystery to me as everyone else.
I have the easy part because I am married to her.
For the matrimonial milestone we did not want to have a big party with lots of people over because that translates to lots of work. It is our anniversary, we should  have fun, not  do dishes and cater to guests.
We wanted to go to Las Vegas and renew our vows with an Elvis impersonator because who better to proclaim our love to than the King himself.
But for various reasons, that did not happen so we went with plan B.
We ditched the kids and went out for dinner before catching a live theatre production, which was a very enjoyable evening and we had a lovely time.
I worked the day of our anniversary, but my beloved had the day off so she spent a good portion of her time digging up old pictures of us and putting them on Facebook for all our friends to see.
Among the congratulatory congratulations we received, I noticed a bit of a theme was developing.
Some people commented on how much hair I had back then. OK, I get it, I am going bald.
Fortunately, I am OK with that. There is not a lot I can do about it, so why stress out over it.
I have accepted there is less hair on my head – much less – than I used to have, but as things tend to do in the cosmos, it is all balancing out because I have hair growing in other places.
When the Missus and I first tied the knot, I had about three chest hairs. Now I look like I am walking around with a poodle taped to my nipples.
I was a little surprised at the growth of locks on my pecks, but it was not out of the realm of possibilities as many men have furry chests.
The part I can't figure out is why do I have hair growing out of my left shoulder area? Other than for a member of the primate family, shoulders are not a place follicles should be found nor are they needed, but for some reason there it is.
What's the point? It does not enhance my aesthetic appearance.
No woman in the history of humankind has ever looked at a man and swooned over the lovely locks flowing from his shoulder muscles.
The other thing people pointed out when looking at our decades-old wedding pictures was how much larger I am now compared to then.
I have put on a few pounds since then, but who hasn't gained weight as they get older?
Some people pointed this out in a kind way, making a harmless comment about how much I have changed over the years.
However a few of my 'good friends' from back in the day were less subtle in their assessment of the situation and took a more blunt approach with some good-natured ribbing – at my expense of course.
Even a friend's mom got in on the action with the simple statement, “You look just like you used to, except fatter.”
Gee thanks. This lady was not exactly svelte herself 25 years ago so I simply replied she hasn't changed a bit and left it at that.
In the past 25 years I have lost my hair and gained weight while raising three children and managing to not box up my  mother in law and ship her to Uruguay.
I wonder what the next 25 will bring.

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